Forward This

ARE YOU KATHLICK ?

2008-11-13T14:08:00.000-06:00

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School.

So they went to the nearest Church. But, only the Janitor was there.

One little boy said, 'We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?' 'Sure,' said the Janitor.

He took them into the bathroom And dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, One at a time. Then he said, 'You are now baptized!'When they got outside, One of them asked, 'What religion do you think we are?' The oldest one said, 'We're not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.' 'We're not Babtits, because they dunk all of you in the water.' 'We're not Methdiss, because they just sprinkle water on you.'

The littlest one said, 'Didn't you smell that water?!'

They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?'

'I think it means we're Pisscopailians. '

Computer 101

2008-06-25T08:18:00.000-05:00

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Eric grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied."Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Eric

Pink Ant - Chain Letter

2008-06-11T07:56:00.001-05:00

Hello, Pretty Lady!

THIS IS A TOAST ... TO US ... FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US, AND THE LUCKY PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!!

You have been hit. You have been considered one of the 10 prettiest ladies with a kind, warm and loving heart. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 10 pretty ladies with kind, warm and loving hearts. If you get hit again you know you're really pretty and kind. If you fail to forward this, you'll have ugliness for 10 years. So hit 10 pretty ladies to let them know they are pretty -- both on the inside and the outside and that they are loved and cared for.

SEND THIS TO PRETTY LADIES, TO BRIGHTEN THEIR DAY, INCLUDING THE ONE WHO SENT IT TO YOU! REMIND LADIES TO BE INFORMED, AWARE AND BE CHECKED FOR THEIR HEALTH'S SAKE. TELL THEM THAT NO ONE WANTS TO LOSE THEM â€“ AFTER ALL, THEY ARE PRETTY LADIES WITH KIND, WARM LOVING HEARTS

All you are asked to do is keep this circulating (even if to one person).

In memory of anyone you know that has been struck by cancer.

Montana State Trooper

2008-03-24T17:00:00.002-05:00

Stella Awards

2008-02-11T08:57:00.000-06:00

It's time again for the annual "Stella Awards"! For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that, right?

That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

Here are the Stella's for the past year:

7TH PLACE :Kathleen Robertson of Austin , Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

6TH PLACE: Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles, California won$74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of theca when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps. Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

5TH PLACE: Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut. Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT, days on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental Anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish. Keep scratching. There are more...

4TH PLACE :Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas , garnered4th Place in the Stella's when he was awarded $14,500plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.Grrrrr. Scratch, scratch.

3RD PLACE: Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her$113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend30 seconds earlier during an argument. What ever happened to people being responsible for their ownactions? Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there; there are only two more Stellas to go...

2ND PLACE: Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a night club in a nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah, plus dental expenses. Go figure.

1ST PLACE : (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please)This year's runaway First Place Stella Award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City , Oklahoma ,who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just incase Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home. Are we, as a society, getting more stupid...? YaThink??!!More than a few of our judge's elevators don't go to the top floor either!

Adam and Eve

2008-02-08T11:14:00.000-06:00

Coded message to Bush!

2008-02-07T14:49:00.001-06:00

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of Coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice . Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.

No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to MI6 and Mossad.

Eventually they asked Australian Intelligence (ASIO) for help.

Within a minute, ASIO emailed the White House with this reply: "Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

PUPPY - love-heart-shaped pattern in his coat

2008-02-07T07:18:00.001-06:00

A PUPPY has been born in Japan with a large, clear, love-heart-shaped pattern in his coat. The Chihuahua was born in May as one of a litter to a breeder. Shop owner Emiko Sakurada said it was the first time a puppy with the marks had been born out of a thousand she had bred. She had no plans to sell the puppy, which has been named 'Heart-kun'. The long-coated male Chihuahua puppy was born in Odate, northern Japan

When You Thought I wasn't Looking.....

2008-02-04T14:35:00.000-06:00

(Written by a former child)

When you thought I wasn't looking , I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking , I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking , I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looki ng, I looked at you and wanted to say, 'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Life is short!

2008-01-31T15:11:00.000-06:00

Life is short!

Break the rules!

Forgive quickly!

Kiss slowly!

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably.

And never regret anything that made you smile.

Americans Don't Speak Canadian!

2008-01-31T10:37:00.000-06:00

An American couple is standing in an airport terminal somewhere in the States, waiting for their luggage.

The wife happens to notice an oddly dressed man also waiting. She asks her husband where he thinks the man is from. The husband says he doesn't know.

He decides to ask the man and approaches him. "Where are you from ?" he asks the man.

" Saskatoon , Saskatchewan " he replies. Puzzled, the husband returns to his wife.

"Well, where is he from ?" asks the wife. "I don't know" replies the husband. "He doesn't speak English."

estate planning

2008-01-31T10:16:00.000-06:00

Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working inthe: family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with whichto: share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years,my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men.

Attention all dogs! How to hug a baby!

2008-01-30T08:34:00.000-06:00

emoticons, ASSICONS

2008-01-29T08:56:00.000-06:00

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laughing at your e-mail. This is NOT a chain letter, so if you don't mail it out, you won't have bad luck. (But who wouldn't want to e-Moon a friend?)

Polar Bear and Dog

2008-01-29T08:09:00.000-06:00

Click on photo to enlarge.

One for the girls

2008-01-29T07:37:00.000-06:00

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles,
Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots,
Please no gray
And as for my belly,
Please take it away.
Please keep me healthy,
Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord,
For all that you've done.

YIKES

2008-01-25T11:58:00.000-06:00

This is sent only to those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it...

1977: Long hair
2007 : Longing for hair

1977 : KEG
2007 : EKG

1977 : Acid rock
2007 : Acid reflux

1977 : Moving to California because it's cool
2007 : Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1977 : Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2007 : Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1977 : Seeds and stems
2007 : Roughage

1977 : Hoping for a BMW
2007 : Hoping for a BM

1977 : Going to a new, hip joint
2007 : Receiving a new hip joint

1977 : Rolling Stones
2007 : Kidney Stones

1977 : Screw the system
2007 : Upgrade the system

1977 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2007 : Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1977 : Passing the drivers' test
2007 : Passing the vision test

Why, Why, Why

2008-01-25T11:47:00.000-06:00

Why, Why, Why

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

And my FAVORITE... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

THE WOMAN'S REMOTE CONTROL

2008-01-25T07:32:00.000-06:00

Click photo to enlarge.

NEW ORLEANS IN LEGOS

2008-01-25T07:25:00.001-06:00

Click on photo to enlarge.

Zodiac Signs

2008-01-24T10:40:00.000-06:00

Once you have opened this e-mail, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs. Read your sign, then forward it on, with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line. This is the real deal, try ignoring or changing it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning - and it only gets worse from there. Remember, if you are on the cusp of another sign you most likely will have features of both signs...which may lead you into total confusion......

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart ~ (Jan 20 - Feb 18 ) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Dreamer ~ (Feb 19 - Mar 20 ) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Un selfish.Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19 ) Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Enduring One ~ (April 20 - May 20th ) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts.Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox ~ (May 21 - June 20 ) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Protector ~ (June 21 - July 22 ) Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss ~ (July 23 - Aug 22 ) Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Likes boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leo's. Attractive. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist ~ Dominant ~ ( Aug 23 - Sept 22) In relationships, very conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to. Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22 ) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Intense One ~ Very Energetic ~ (Oct 23 - Nov 21 ) Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One ~ (Nov 22 - Dec 21 ) Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome ). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Beautiful inside and out 14 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19 ) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want. 20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Send away!! ~ Ready ........ Set ............GO!
1 - 3 people = 1 minute of luck
4 - 7 people = 1 hour of luck
8 - 12 people = 1 day of luck
13 - 17 people = 1 week of luck
18 - 22 people = 1 month of luck
23 - 27 people = 3 months of luck
28 - 32 people = 7 months of luck
33 - 37 people = 1 year of luck ...........
38 and more = a very lucky life!
KEEP YOUR SUNNY SIDE UP!!!

Old Golfers

2008-01-24T07:20:00.000-06:00

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.

"That's it", he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad...once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes. As they sit down she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try".

"That's no good", sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help".

"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect".

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!", says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".

"Where did it go?", says Arthur.

"I can't remember".

The Dolls

2008-01-22T13:23:00.000-06:00

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, " my grandmother told me, the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

Blonde Football Joke

2008-01-22T13:02:00.000-06:00

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!'

The C.O.'s Morning Briefing

2008-01-18T14:52:00.000-06:00

The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Army was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.

He posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure?'

The X.O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

The Colonel's Aide, a Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

With no hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, Sir, began the PFC, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

A Day at the Beach in China

2008-01-18T14:31:00.001-06:00

Click on photos to enlarge.

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

2008-01-18T14:26:00.001-06:00

A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT

They were together in the House.

Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed... He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand...

So consumed were they in their FEAR that they heard no opening of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

Tiger and Piglets

2008-01-18T14:19:00.000-06:00

The pictures are real, but the accompanying explanation in most emails about a mother tiger in California being given piglets to ease her through a depression stemming from the loss of her own cubs is fiction.

The images displayed above were taken in 2004 at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo in Chonburi, Thailand. Although the Sriracha Tiger Zoo hosts one of the world's most successful tiger breeding programs, unlike most western zoos it also offers circus- and carnival-like shows, exhibits, and interactions, including (as evidenced here) the mixture of adults and young of quite different species in the same enclosures. As described by the AWI Quarterly a publication of the Animal Welfare Institute: The Sriracha Tiger Zoo, an hour outside of Bangkok, Thailand, is truly an amazing place. Boasting more than 400 tigers, a handful of Asian elephants, piles of crocodiles, camels, snakes and other exotic animals, the zoo has some intriguing, yet troubling exhibits.

Amish Elevator

2008-01-18T14:12:00.000-06:00

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again

The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator)responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.

Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.

The father said quietly to his son..."Go get your mother."

One Useless Cat for Sale

2008-01-18T12:28:00.001-06:00

Sugar Babies

2008-01-18T12:19:00.000-06:00

Marzipan Babies
These are made with marzipan....really unbelievable! While some of the faces may look "crafted" rather than "real", every detail is amazing, and the rest looks VERY real.

Definition of Marzipan Almond paste: a sweet paste made of ground almonds and sugar, often with egg whites or yolks, used as a layer in cakes or molded into ornamental shapes.

Medicare Part D

2008-01-18T12:12:00.000-06:00

This is TOO good!
5 million of our older Americans have not signed up yet for their Medicare, Part D, drug plan------they are old and confused.

We are NOT going to grant them an extension.

However, 12 million illegal aliens are in our country and we are going to allow them to stay, protest, procreate, receive support monies, attend schools, avoid paying income taxes, have our
teachers take 300 hours of ESL(English as a Second Language) training at our expense, etc.

WE MUST REALLY DISLIKE OUR OLD PEOPLE......OR WE MUST REALLY LOVE TACOS!!!

If it ticks you off, pass it on!!

Don't forget to pay your taxes...

12 million illegal aliens are depending on you!

Thank you for all the chain letters!!

2008-01-18T12:03:00.000-06:00

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the$15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,Singapore , and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

Oh, by the way.....

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Ice sculpture: Look closely

2008-01-18T11:50:00.000-06:00

THE SCULPTURE IS AMAZING!!! Don't forget to read below the sculpture. This is an unusual one. It actually gives you a time tomorrow. Let's see if it works.

GUARDIAN ANGEL Forward this message the same day you received it. It may sound ridiculous, but it is right on time. We believe that something is about to happen. Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them. Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your friends. Tomorrow at 9:12 AM somebody will address you and tell you something you have been waiting to hear. Please do not break this chain. Send it to at least 7 of your friends.

Jesus Illusion

2008-01-10T12:48:00.000-06:00

A Friend Indeed

2008-01-10T10:32:00.000-06:00

LET'S SEE WHO READS THEIR EMAIL

A Hug Certificate for You! This poem is very sweet. It will be interesting to see who sends it back. Forward this on and back. Thanks!

If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you And share with you its beauty On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain You could call your very own;A place to find serenity, A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I'm finding Are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain Or catch a rainbow fair,But let me be what I know best,A friend who's always there.

This is a Hug Certificate!!

Send One to All Your Friends Who You Think Deserve A Hug (Which, Hopefully Includes the Person Who Sent It to You).

You might send it to your enemies as well!It'll really tic 'em off!

If you receive this back 2 times . You're off to a good start,Unless you sent it to yourself. That's cheating!

If you receive this back 3 times.You're a good friend.

If you receive this back 4 times..... You are popular I wanna be just like you.

If you receive this back 5 times or more,There are angels watching over you.... THANK YOU, IF YOU SEND IT BACK TO ME.

Balloons and Marbles

2008-01-10T10:16:00.000-06:00

FRIENDS ARE LIKE BALLOONS, ONCE YOU LET THEM GO, YOU CAN’T GET THEM BACK SO I’M GOING TO TIE YOU TO MY HEART SO I NEVER LOSE YOU. SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS INCLUDING ME! SEE HOW MANY YOU GET BACK... Well here is the cure... just smile and say...

Dear Lord,
I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for You always know what's best!

I have this circle of email friends, Who mean the world to me; Some days I "send" and "send," At other times, I let them be.

I am so blessed to have these friends, With whom I've grown so close; So this little poem I dedicate to them, Because to me they are the "Most"!

When I see each name download, And view the message they've sent; I know they've thought of me that day, And "well wishes" were their intent.

So to you, my friends, I would like to say, Thank you for being a part; Of all my daily contacts, This comes right from my heart.

God bless you is my prayer today, I’m honored to call you "friend"; I pray the Lord will keep you safe, Until we write again.

TIRED DOG

2008-01-09T13:53:00.000-06:00

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

Mental Feng Shui

2008-01-09T13:48:00.000-06:00

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!
Lotus Touts: You have 6 minutes

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so far.

Do not keep this message.

The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling..

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly..

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY.. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

Now, here's the FUN part! Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve. 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly. 5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.

Please Do This For Me....

2008-01-07T08:28:00.000-06:00

CANCER CANDLE All you are asked to do is keep this circulating. Even if it's to one more person. In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer.

A Candle Loses Nothing by Lighting Another Candle.

Please Keep This Candle Going! This one , I do ask that you send on.

CURIOSITIES

2008-01-07T07:29:00.000-06:00

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

And "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Better Get This Back

2008-01-04T15:22:00.000-06:00

Hello, Pretty Lady! THIS IS A TOAST.... 2 US .. FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US, AND THE LUCKY PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!! SEND THIS ONLY TO PRETTY LADIES, INCLUDING THE ONE WHO SENT IT TO YOU!!!

You have been hit. You have been considered One of the 10 prettiest ladies on my friends list Once you have been hit, you have to hit 10 pretty ladies. If you get hit again you know you're really pretty. If you break the chain you'll have ugliness for 10 years. So hit 10 pretty ladies on your friends list and let them know they are pretty.

Please send this back to me. (You'll see why.)

2008-01-04T12:08:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to tell you guys it was difficult for me to decide who I thought would DO this because many people claim to pray, but not everyone does. I hope I chose the right nine. Please send this back to me. (You'll see why.) May everyone who receives this message be blessed REMEMBER to pray. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of reward. Make sure you pray, and pray believing that God will answer. May today be all that you need it to be today.May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways that you have never experienced.May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray that you step into your destiny within your ministry. I pray for peace, health, happiness and true and undying love for God. Now, send this to 9 people within the next 5 minutes and remember to send this back...I count as 1...you'll see why.Hint: Copy and paste

I need this back, hope you can do it

2008-01-03T10:37:00.000-06:00

8 angels are sent 2 you. You must send them to 8 people including me . In 8 minutes you will Receive something you have long awaited. Have faith! Have a good day!

READ AND RETURN TO ME

2008-01-02T09:19:00.000-06:00

Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you. Please pass this to at least (4) people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

The prayer: Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. In Jesus' precious name. Amen.

(If the Lord lays upon your heart to send this to more than four people, you are truly blessed).

2008

2008-01-02T08:49:00.000-06:00

Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles-

A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green traffic lights on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing along song on the radio.

Your keys right where you look.

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you, Holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Wishing you the best for 2008!

Blogger Note: Worst Bad Luck from a Chain Letter I've ever Seen!

2008-01-02T07:40:00.000-06:00

Once you have opened this e-mail, there's no turning back. Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs. Read your sign, then forward it along
with your zodiac sign and label on the subject line. This is the real deal,
try ignoring or changing it, and the first thing you'll notice is having a
horrible day starting tomorrow morning.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist Dominant in relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager.Hardworking. Loyal companion and friend. Beautiful. Easy to talkto. Hard to please. Usually good at whatever they attempt to do. Can be harsh and unforgiving. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Tend to be pessimistic.7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Intense OneVery energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive.Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long.... relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and emotional.4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The HarmonizerNice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have ownunique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Likes being the center of attention. Frivolous. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give intoo easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Daredevil Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish.Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - The SweetheartOptimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The BossUsually organized. Need order in their lives. Like being in control.Often eccentric. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Domineering and bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive and loving. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The ProtectorMoody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring.Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The DreamerGenerous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. Maybecome secretive and vague. Sensitive and spiritual. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic at times. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious and make strong leaders. Humorous. Usually good-looking. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Passionate and loyal companions. Sometimes sarcastic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Work hard to get what they want out of life. Like competition. Good athletes. 20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Enduring OneCharming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friendsand give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-go-lucky oneGood-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out. 14 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

~Send away!!~ ready ........ set............ GO!
1-3 people= 1 minute of luck
4-7 people= 1 hour of luck
8-12 people = 1 day of luck
13-17 people = 1 week of luck
18-22 people = 1 month of luck
23-27 people = 3 months of luck
28-32 people = 7 months of luck
33-37 people = 1 year of luck
38 and more = a very lucky life!

This Makes you Think

2007-12-30T12:54:00.000-06:00

Death is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely death!Make a personal reflection about this.....Very interesting, read until the end.....It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7):"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.Here are some men and women who mocked God :John Lennon (Singer):Some years before, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said: "Christianity will end, it will disappear. I do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, Today we are more famous than Him" (1966).Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before being made President, then he died.Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer andpoet):During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said: "God,that's for you."He died at the age of 32 of AIDS in a horrible manner.The man who built the Titanic After the construction of Titanic, a reporter askedhim how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone he said: "Not even God can sink it"The result: I think you all know what happened tothe Titanic .Marilyn Monroe (Actress)She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: "I don't need your Jesus".A week later, she was found dead in her apartment .Bon Scott (Singer)The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979songs he sang: "Don't stop me, I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell".On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.Campinas (IN 2005)In Campinas, Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:"My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.."She responded: "Only If He (God) travels in the trunk, cause inside here.....it's already full "Hours later, news came by that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died,the car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken.Christine Hewitt Jamaican Journalist and entertainer Said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written.In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle ..Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive ."Jesus"P.S: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are you going to have courage to send this?I have done my part, Jesus said: "If you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before My Father."You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this.No way!I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T. D. Jakes "8Second Prayer." Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name.Amen."Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}.You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you ..

ENJOY YOUR COFFEE

2007-12-30T12:44:00.000-06:00

A group of alumni, all highly established in their respective careers, gottogether for a visit with their old university professor. The conversationsoon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life ingeneral. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchenand soon returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment ofcups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal - some plain, some expensive, somequite exquisite. Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the oldprofessor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address thesmall gathering. "You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cupswere taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While itis only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that isactually the source of much of your stress-related problems."

He continued, "Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups. Then you began eyeing each other's cups. Now consider this:

Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!"

The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have. So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God. And remember- the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

I'm thankful for the special flavor you add to my coffee.

MR.GEORGE NYERERE

2007-12-28T07:58:00.000-06:00

g_nyerere_00_3@hotmail.com

MR.GEORGE NYERERE
345 LUISE BOTHA ROAD
JHB2001.SOUTH AFRICA.
TEL: 27-833-676-420

My dear friend
I do foresee the surprise this letter will bring to you as it comes from a stranger. But rest assured as it comes with best of intentions. However, your address was courtesy of the Internet. But after due consideration from your profile, I became aware and assured of your credibility of handling this trust and my future. Thus, after my humble decision to solicit for your understanding and co-operation in this transaction, as it will be beneficial to all of us involved.

My name is Mr. George Nyerere, from Tanzania . I am the son of the Late President of Tanzania JULIUS KAMBARAGE NYERERE, who died on the 14 October 1999 about seven years ago. My father used his position then to make for him self and us some fortune. My father died after a protracted illness. I was studying overseas when my father died and I was forced to return for the funeral. His attorney notified me and my family about my father's will with his chambers.

When I was going through the will, I discovered that my late father had used his position then to make some money, which he brilliantly transferred and deposited it with a private Security Company here in Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa. He deposited this consignment as valuables. The Security Company does not know that this consignment contains cash money, except the attorney and me.

The amount is Eight million United States Dollars (USD 8MILLION). However, my aim of contacting you is to help me and take this sum into your nominated account in your country or any other part of the world. Secondly, you will also help me look for a profitable investment overseas because I don't have knowledge of international investments. As a result of my present situation, I won't be able to conclude this transaction alone.

If you are interested in helping me out, try and contact me with the above phone number, or-mail address indicating your interest to help me, not forgetting to include your private phone and fax numbers for easier communication. I will then furnish you with more details. I have mutually agreed to compensate you with 25% of the total sum for your assistance, 5% for expenses in the course of the transaction. Then the remaining 70% will remain for my family and me, which you will help us invest.

Be informed that this transaction needs utmost trust and confidentiality. Note also that the transaction attracts no risk on your side hence all the modalities for safe, smooth and successful transaction have been arranged by me.

Looking forward to receiving your urgent reply. God bless you,

GEORGE NYERERE
(JNR)(FOR THE FAMILY)

Blogger Note: Letters as these are SCAMS! Never give out your personal information to a stranger!! Report these types of emails to your email host as SPAM!

MR.GEORGE NYERERE (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-28T07:57:00.001-06:00

Glasses

2007-12-28T07:50:00.000-06:00

On a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around -- in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her -- the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her,"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care. Well....my job is done. Your turn...

Only in Alaska

2007-12-28T07:49:00.001-06:00

This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always always comes home.... wow

Boeing is preparing a 1000 passenger

2007-12-26T11:57:00.000-06:00

Boeing is preparing a 1000 passenger jet that could reshape the Air travel industry for the next 100 years. The radical Blended Wing design has been developed by Boeing in cooperation with the NASA Langley Research Center. The mammoth plane will have a wing span of 265 feet compared to the 747's 211 feet, and is designed to fit within the newly created terminals used for the 555 seat Airbus A380, which is 262 feet wide.

The new 797 is in direct response to the Airbus A380 which has racked up 159 orders, but has not yet flown any passengers. Boeing decide to kill its 747X stretched super jumbo in 2003 after little interest was shown by airline companies, but has continued to develop the ultimate Airbus crusher 797 for years at its Phantom Works research facility in Long Beach.

The Airbus A380 has been in the works since 1999 and has accumulated $13 billion in development costs, which gives Boeing a huge advantage now that Airbus has committed to the older style tubular aircraft for decades to come.

There are several big advantages to the blended wing design, the most important being the lift to drag ratio which is expected to increase by an amazing 50%, with overall weight reduced by 25%, making it an estimated 33% more efficient than the A380, and making Airbus's $13 billion dollar investment look pretty shaky.

High body rigidity is another key factor in blended wing aircraft, It reduces turbulence and creates less stress on the air frame which adds to efficiency, giving the 797 a tremendous 8800 nautical mile range with its 1000 passengers flying comfortably at mach 0.88 or 654 mph (+-1046km/h) cruising speed a nother advantage over the Airbus tube-and-wing designed A380's 570 mph (912 km/h). The exact date for introduction is unclear, yet the battle lines are clearly drawn in the high-stakes war for civilian air supremacy.

Please return

2007-12-26T11:47:00.001-06:00

'Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up.'
This angel is sent to you.

You must send her to 8 people including me. In 8 minutes you will receive something you have long awaited. Have faith.

Grandma and Grandpa

2007-12-26T10:49:00.000-06:00

Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Oregon to Florida to attend their granddaughters graduation from medical school.

Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of their grandsons in Kansas for a night. Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the medicine cabinet. He asked his grandson about using one of the pills.

The grandson said, "I don't think you should take one Grandpa, they're very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"Around $10.00 a pill! ," answered the grandson.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, we'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the grandson found $110.00 under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."

Romance at its' finest!

2007-12-21T14:22:00.001-06:00

“Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent"

Hello, Pretty Lady!

2007-12-21T11:29:00.000-06:00

Hello, Pretty Lady!

THIS IS A TOAST.... 2 US .. FOR THE MEN WHO HAVE US, THE LOSERS WHO HAD US, AND THE LUCKY PEOPLE WHO WILL MEET US!!

SEND THIS ONLY TO PRETTY LADIES, INCLUDING THE ONE WHO SENT IT TO YOU!!! You have been hit. You have been considered one of the 10 prettiest ladies on my friends list. Once you have been hit, you have to hit 10 pretty ladies. If you get hit again you know you're really pretty. If you break the chain you'll have ugliness for 10 years. So hit 10 pretty ladies on your friends list and let them know they are pretty.

A New Year another year OLDER!

2007-12-20T13:26:00.000-06:00

An elderly gentleman...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast ?"

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbor . "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful."

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis

Please Assist me, It's Very Important. (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-20T11:28:00.000-06:00

chuks2@terra.es

Dear Sir,

I am Mr Chuks Amaka, I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. A Foreign Oil consultant/contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mr. joshua gabrielle made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$ (Thirty-seven Million,five hundred thousand Dollars)which is in my care. This money has carefully been moved out to a bank in overseas for safe-keeping. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the owner of the money I deposited in this bank in Abroad.

I am writing you because I as well needs your help concerning this money. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately as requested below ---------
1, your full names
2, phone and fax numbers
3,office and home address
4,your occupation and Age
5,full copy of your identification (Drivers License Or International Passport).

so that the necessary documents which will put you in place as the Legaland rightfull beneficiary of the money will be prepared by an attorney immediately. Please do respond to my private email for confidential reasons- Email:

Please honesty is the watch word in this transaction,I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. With Sincerely,Mr Chuks Amaka.

This is not a joke e-mail or neither a junk, this is regarding to life benefit. Please do take this message seriously,Thank you.

Ahora también puedes acceder a tu correo Terra desde el móvil.Infórmate pinchando aquí.

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Congratulation Lucky Winner!!! (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-19T09:41:00.000-06:00

The Irish Lottery
P O Box 1010
11 G Lower Dorset Street
Dublin 1, Ireland (Customer Services)
Ref: IRISH/9420X2/68
Batch: 109/011/ZY369
Date: 19th/12/2007

Congratulation Lucky Winner,
This mail is to bring to your notice that your email Address emerged as one of our Lucky winning in the random that just take place in the Irish Lottery Board sweepstakes programme that made you automatically a winner of the sum of £1,350,000 (One million, three hundred and fifty thousand, pounds sterling), held on the 17th Dec 2007. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 32323 866385 170 with Serial number 01192/07 drew the lucky numbers: 07, 17, 27, 30, 31, 45, Bonus 17 which subsequently won you the lottery in the 1st category i.e November 6 plus bonus. processed and your money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem fit to claim your prize.please contact our Claims Agent with the filled payment processing form and send it to Dr.James West immediately.
Name: Dr.James West Tel:+ 44-702-402-4261 + 44-702-402-5165
Email: serviceirish_jameswest@hotmail.co.uk
FILL BELOW THE CLAIMS PROCESSING FORM =====================================
1.FULL NAMES:________
2.ADDRESS:__________
3.SEX:_______________
4.AGE:________
5.MARITAL STATUS:_____
6.OCCUPATION:________
7.E-MAIL ADDRESS:______
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________
9.BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF COMPANY/INDIVIDUAL___
10.AMOUNT WON:________
11. COUNTRY:___________

Kind regards, Chritopher Toti Irish Lottery Online Co-ordinator.

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END OF YEAR PROMO (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-19T09:38:00.000-06:00

UK ONLINE LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL
P O Box 1010 Liverpool
L70 1NL UNITED KINGDOM (Customer Services)

ONLINE NOTIFICATION This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £1,000,000.00 (British Pounds) held on the 18th of December 2007 in London Uk.The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection system(ess) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were selected.

The UK ONLINE LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL is approved by the British Gaming Board.To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fiduaciary claims department for more infomation as regards procedures to claim your prize. REF No: UKNL-L/200-26937 TICKET No: 20511465463-7644 You are to contact the Claims Consultant: Mr.John Morgan TEL:+44 7045737589 Email: uk_claimsagentofficer77@yahoo.de
(1) FULL NAME
(2) FULL ADDRESS
(3) NATIONALITY
(4) AGE
(5) OCCUPATION
(6 )TELEPHONE NUMBER
(7) SEX
(8) TOTAL AMOUNT WON
(9) COUNTRY I

f you do not contact your claims agent within 3 working days of thisNotification, your winnings would be revoked. Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information from the public to avoid Fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT) pending the prize claim by Winner. *Winner under the age of 17 are automatically disqualified. *Staff of the UK ONLINE LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL are not to partake in this Lottery. Congratulation!!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rose Wood

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WHY GOD ALLOWS PAIN

2007-12-18T13:51:00.000-06:00

This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen...

man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.'

'Why do you say that?' asked the customer. 'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.' The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.

Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: 'You know what? Barbers do not exist.' 'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!' 'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.' 'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'

If you think God exists, send this to other people--- If you think God does not exist, delete it!

World's Easiest Quiz!

2007-12-18T13:46:00.000-06:00

(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
Answers are below!!

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Remember, you need 4 correct answers to pass.
Check your answers below .
ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years
2) Which country makes Pa nama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert
8) What color is a purple finch? Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of course)

Holiday Eating Tips

2007-12-18T10:01:00.000-06:00

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.Remember this motto to live by:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO! What a ride!'

Looking Good

2007-12-18T09:58:00.000-06:00

Hopefully, you can help me with this.....
I'm trying to find out which Home Depot sells this mirror!!!

Glasswing Butterflies

2007-12-18T09:53:00.000-06:00

Glasswing Butterflies live in South America. A butterfly with transparent wings is rare and beautiful. As delicate as finely blown glass, the presence of this rare tropical gem is used by rain forest ecologists as an indication of high habitat quality and its demise alerts them of ecological change. Rivaling the refined beauty of a stained glass window, the translucent wings of the Glasswing butterfly shimmer in the sunlight like polished panes of turquoise, orange, green, and red.

All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in life that which is unnoticed has the most power.

RED MARBLES

2007-12-17T14:40:00.000-06:00

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas ?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.' I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles. Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes. Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket. 'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.' 'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .' With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles. The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath. Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee youdidn't make yourself...An unexpected phone call from an old friend...Green stoplights on your way to work...The fastest line at the grocery store...A good sing-along song on the radio...Your keys found right where you left them.

Notification Letter (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-17T11:47:00.000-06:00

e-Lotto Sweepstakes UK
kevin.collins@adelphia.net

REFERENCE NUMBER: UKL/478593G9/19
BATCH NUMBER: 01/209/AD16GOUR
REF: 12190/14
TICKET NUMBER: 112-4540-525-106

WINNING NOTIFICATION: FINAL ANNOUNCEMENT
This email is to inform you that you have Won(£715,000.00 GBP) on ouronline draws which was played on 8th December, 2007.Your email address was picked.

CONTACT;
OFFICAL:
MR. GRAHAM WILBERTEMAIL: grahamwilbertofficer@yahoo.co.uk

Yours Truly,Sir. Kevin CollinsCo-ordinator(Online Promo Programme).

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NOTE!!! (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-17T11:29:00.000-06:00

notification2007@libero.it

Dear Sir/Madam.

Important Information. Please your urgent response is needed.It is our pleasure to inform you through this medium that Youremailaddress won a prize of 550,000.00 Euros in categoryA'micronet Euro Milliones.Reference number 2763-4532ES/sl. Batch numbers LSLUK/2031/07 .Guada Seguro finance and securities serviceMr.Fredrick WalterTel:+34691961385

Contact Email:segurofinance@aim.comContact our prize claim agent by email or phone and quote thenumbers with Full names,Phone/Fax nos in your reply to your agent.

Yours Sincerely,
Mrs Lucia Benitez

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CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPY!

2007-12-17T11:00:00.000-06:00

I do have a wish.

Ok guys, this truly is freaky; the Phone literally rang as soon as I read the last word of this email!!!!! I am taking the bait -What do I have to lose right? Hope it works! Supposedly The Phone Will Ring Right After You Do This. Just read the little stories and Think of a wish as you scroll all The way to the bottom. There is a message there - then make your Wish. No attachment on this one.

I'm 13 years old, and I wished that my dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having Problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p .m... When I made my wish. At 3: 07 PM. (14 minutes Later), the doorbell rang, and There my Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the Verge of quitting. I made a simple Wish that my boss would get a new Job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works!!!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years of age. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a Nice, loving relationship for many Years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AMA FedEx delivery man came into my Office. He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He Started coming back almost everyday <> (even without packages) and asked me Out a week later. We married 6 Months later and now have been happily married for 2 years. What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed Scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the Number of minutes it will take for your Wish to come true. Ex. you are 25 years Old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true).

However, if you don't send this to People in 5 minutes, you will have bad Luck for years!! Go for it!!!

STOP!!!Congratulations!!! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Now follow this carefully....it Can be very rewarding!!!!If you send this to 10 more People, other than the 5 that you Already have to send to, something Major that you've been wanting Will happen. Message: This is scary! The phone will ring right after You do this!

From my home to yours!! Happy Holidays

2007-12-17T10:52:00.000-06:00

Please don't break this even if you only send it to one person. Thanks

NOTICE AT THE END, THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED. GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS. I am not going to be the one who Lets it die. I found it believable --- Angels have walked beside me All my life--and they still do. ********************* This is to all of you who Mean something to me, I pray for your happiness. The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship

This candle was lit on the 1 5th of September, 1998. Someone who loves you has helped Keep it alive by sending it to you Don't let The Candle of Love, Hope And Friendship die! Pass It On To All Of Your Friends and Everyone You Love! May God richly bless you as you keep this candle burning. I received this today for the 1st time and I hope it comes back someday again. Please keep this candle alive Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

APPEAL FOR ASSISSTANCE (MONEY SCAM)

2007-12-17T10:50:00.000-06:00

FROM: ZUMA PULE
TEL: 27-739666420
E-MAIL:zuma_pule03@yahoo.ca
20 BOTHA CRESCENT, SANDTON, JOHANNESBURG, SOUTH AFRIACA
MD/CEO,

APPEAL FOR ASSISSTANCE
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise since we don't know each other before, but for purpose of introduction, I am ZUMA PULE the Bank Manager of AMALGAMATED BANK OF SOUTH AFRICA (ABSA).

First and foremost, I apologize using this medium to reach you for a transaction / business of this magnitude, but this is due to Confidentiality and prompt access reposed on this medium. Be informed that a member of the South Africa Export Promotion Council (SEPC) who was at the Government delegation to your country during a trade exhibition gave your enviable credentials / particulars to me. I plea to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of the deal described hereunder for the benefit of all parties and hope you will keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction.

There is an account opened in this bank in 1990 and since 1998 nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account is MR. SAMUEL CARTER , a foreigner, and a miner at Kruger gold co., a geologist by profession and he died since 1998.

No other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that his company does not know anything about this account and the amount involved is (USD$35,000,000M) thirty five million United States Dollars.

I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in US dollars and the former owner of the account is MR. SAMUEL CARTER a foreigner too.
I know that this message will come to you as a surprise as we don't know ourselves before. We will sign an agreement, but be sure that it is real and a genuine business.

Please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take immediately. Send also your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account tobe used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face or sign a binding agreement to bind us together so that you can receive this money into a foreign account or any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. And I will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other investments. I amcontacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with foreign account and foreign beneficiary.

I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner, who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you later immediately, if you are capable and willing to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to my instructions and advice for our mutual benefit because this opportunity willnever come again in my life.

I need truthful person in this business because I don't want to make mistake I need your strong assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can transfer this money to any foreigner's reliable account, which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharing. I will destroy all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place.

You can also come to discuss with me face to face after which I will make this remittance in your presence and two of us will fly to your country at least two days ahead of The money going into the account. I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account.

I will use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of the ministries and foreign exchange departments.
At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 30% of the total amount, 70% will be for me.

I look forward to your earliest reply

Yours truly,
ZUMA PULE

Blogger Note: Letters as these are SCAMS! Never give out your personal information to a stranger!! Report these types of emails to your email host as SPAM!

History

2007-12-17T10:47:00.000-06:00

Snopes.com has investigated this and has determined it is partly true and partly false. To read Snopes findings, go here; http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/holocaust.asp.

It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower found the victims of the death camps, he ordered all possible photographs to be taken and for the German people from the surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead. He did this he said, in words to this effect; "Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses - because somewhere down the track of history some ******* will get up and say that this never happened. "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing" Edmund Burke IN MEMORIAL This week, the UK removed the Holocaust from it's school curriculum because it "offended" the Muslim population because they say it never occurred. This is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easy each country is giving into it. It is now more than 60 years since the 2nd. World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the 6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, starved, burned and humiliated while German and Russian people looked the other way! Now more than ever, with Iran among others, claiming the Holocaust to be a myth, it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets. This e-mail is intended to reach 40 million people worldwide! Be a link in the memorial chain and help distribute this around the world. Don't just delete this, it will only take a minute to pass it on...

The Last Day of School

2007-12-17T10:44:00.000-06:00

On the last day of school, the children brought gifts to their teacher. The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of liquid with her finger and tasted it. 'Is it wine?' she guessed. 'No', the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, 'Is it champagne?' 'No', said the little boy.....'It's a puppy.'

To each of you with my best wishes

2007-12-17T10:35:00.000-06:00

SOMETHING DIFFERENT! You never know when your guardian angel will be there for you so I have to try... I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail. Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to you. Here goes:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenie nt time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Send this to every friend that you have on-line, including the person who sent it to you.

0 Replies - you may need to work on your 'people skills'
2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
4 Replies - you have picked your friends well!
6 Replies - you are downright popular
8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome (and that's probably why you're on MY list) I wonder what mine will be.

GUARDIAN ANGEL Forward this message the same day you received it . It may sound ridiculous, but it is right on time. We believe that something is about to happen. Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them. Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your friends. Tomorrow at 11:04 somebody will address you and tell you something you have been waiting to hear. Please do not break it. Send it to at least 7 of your friends.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE WON THE SUM OF US$1,450,000.00

2007-12-17T08:43:00.000-06:00

"grant stevenson"
PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONALLAST QUARTER OF THE YEAR 2007YOU ARE THE WINNER OF THE COMPUTER PROMOTIONAL DRAW.

THIS MESSAGE IS FROM THE CO-ORDINATOR,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT

PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS HAVE WON, THE SUM OF US$1,450,000.00
ON THE COMPUTER BALLOT SYSTEM.

PLEASE CONTACT: (Dr. GRANTSTEVENSON)YOUR CLAIM AGENT FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE PAYMENT:PHONE NO. +27 733 666 477. EMAIL: http://us.f625.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=grantstevenson30@hotmail.com.
(ZENITH CAPITAL MANAGEMENT SA)PRIZE AWARD NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement made on 2th December 2007 about winners of the PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS, as part of our promotional draws. Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from all part of the world as part of our electronic business Promotions Program.

Note that your email address qualified for the draw, as a result of your visiting various Websites we are running the e-business promotions for You/Your Company email address, attached to ticket numbers: 100-309-7482, with serial number 513-10 drew the lucky numbers 3, 8, 13,22, 27, 41 and Bonus number 12 and consequently you have won in the Second Category.

Your Winning Ticket Number: 100-309-7482

Your Serial Number: 513-10

Your Lucky Draw Numbers are: 3, 8, 13, 22, 27, 41

Bonus Number: 12

Your INSURANCE Number: PLI-433/453L/GMSA

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of US$1,450,000.00 in cash, which is the winning payout for Second category winners. This is from the total prize money of US$10,150,000.00 shared among the seven international winners in the Second category.

CONGRATULATIONS!Please be informed that your (PRIZE) US$1,450,000.00 is now with Zenith Capital Management and Security Company insured with your email address that won this prize, therefore you should contact (ZENITH CAPITAL MANAGEMENT SA) your agent and give them your full names so that they will re-insure your CHEQUE under your full names. To begin your claim, please call your claim agent immediately, Phone number: +27 733 666 477 and also to send an urgent message to Dr. GRANT STEVENSON, through email address: http://us.f625.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=grantstevenson30@hotmail.com.

DR. GRANTSTEVENSON FOREIGN SERVICE MANAGER, ZENITH CAPITAL MANAGEMENT SA. # 106 SMITH STREET, BALFOUR PARK, 0083 P.O. Box 328, BALFOUR JOHANNESBURG 2001 SOUTH AFRICA. TEL: +27 733 666 477.
EMAIL: http://us.f625.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=grantstevenson30@hotmail.com

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers and other information provided above and below in every one of your correspondences with your claims agent.

REFERENCE NUMBER: GML-S343-KKT-8811
BATCH NUMBER: 56T-DTH78-SAR99

PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL PROGRAM IS A BONUS FOR THE WHOLEWORLD FOR THE 2010 SOCCER WORLD.

Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Yours sincerely,

MRS. MARIA EASTWOOD(CO-ORDINATOR)PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL. 4th Floor APEX TOWER P.O. Box 18534, #36 Empire Road.Sandton.Johannesburg, South Africa.

PLATINUM LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL GOES INTERNATIONAL AS THE 2010 WORLD CUP WILL BE HOSTED BY SOUTH AFRICA.

THIS PROGRAM IS SPONSURED BY: SOUTH AFRICAN LOTTO AUTHORITY AND SUPPORTED BY: (Fé¤©ration Internationale de Football Association) FIFA SUPPORT

Blogger Note: Letters as these are SCAMS! Never give out your personal information to a stranger!! Report these types of emails to your email host as SPAM!

let me know

2007-12-17T08:39:00.001-06:00

Let me know what happens to you the morning after you open this e-mail. This is an unusual one. It actually gives you a time tomorrow. Let's see if it works.

GUARDIAN ANGEL Forward this message the same day you received it. It may sound ridiculous, but it is right on time. We believe that something is about to happen. Angels exist, only sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of them. Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your friends. Tomorrow at 2:07 P M, Somebody will address you and tell you something you have been waiting to hear. Please do not break this chain. Send it to at least 7 of your friends.

for those born between 1930 - 1979

2007-12-17T08:29:00.000-06:00

Those Born 1930-1979

----- READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR QUOTE OF THE MONTH BY JAY LENO IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE-----VERY WELL STATED Those Born 1930-1979!

TO ALL THE KIDSWHO SURVIVED the1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when werode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because . WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING ! !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride downthe hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phon es, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were nolawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and kno cked on the door or rangthe bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TODEAL WITH IT ALL! If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up askids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,"Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete th is. For the rest of us.....pass this on.

Insightful Blonde at the Post Office

2007-12-14T12:25:00.000-06:00

A Blonde goes to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards.

She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas Stamps".

The clerk says, "What denomination?"

The Blonde then says, "God help us. Has it come to this?

"Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Methodist, 10 Lutheran, 22 Presbyterian."

I'VE GOT YOUR MAMMA

2007-12-14T11:47:00.000-06:00

Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did.

Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER 1: Dear God: I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Carol

Carol knew this wasn't true. ?She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER 2: Dear God: This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol
Carol knew this wasn't true either. She tore up the letter and started again.

LETTER 3: Dear God:
I know I haven't been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol

Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. ?She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted to go to church. Carol's mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," her mother said.

Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down and wrote her letter to God.

LETTER 4: I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
Signed ,
YOU KNOW WHO

Test for Old Kids

2007-12-14T11:44:00.000-06:00

A TEST FOR OLD KIDS
I was picky who I sent this to. It had to be those who might actually remember.

The answers are printed below, but don't you cheat.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don't know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.

02.When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.

03."Get your kicks, ___________________."

04."The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed___________________."

05."In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________."

06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the "_____________."

07."N_E_S_T_L_E_S", Nestle's makes the very best....... _______________."

08. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.

09.What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.

10.Red Skeleton's hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, "Good Night, and "________ ________".

11.Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.

12.The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW . What other names did it go by? __________ & ____________.

13.In 1971, singer Don Mac Lean sang a son g about, "the day the music died."This was a tribute to ___________________.

14.We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.

15. One of the big fads of the late 50's and 60's was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ________________ !

ANSWERS:
01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader,and "Good Night,and may God Bless."
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned.)
12. Beetle or Bug
13. Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hoola-hoop

Send this to your "old" friends. It will drive them crazy! And, keep them busy and let them forget their aches and pains for a few minutes

Keep the Christ of Christmas in CHRISTmas!

2007-12-14T10:32:00.000-06:00

HE ARRIVED THIS MORNING, WE HAD PRAYER, SPENT SOME TIME JUST TALKING, AND THEN, HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO YOUR HOUSE.

When he gets to your PC, escort him to the next stop. Please don't allow him to sleep on your PC. The message he is carrying is very important and needs to go round. May God bless you as you do this!

Walking for Jesus!

Say a prayer, then pass him on to bless others. Our assignment is to love and spread the gospel throughout the world. Have a blessed day and touch somebody's life today! I just did. He's walking around the world - via e-mail!! Pass it on so he can get there.

When you forward, put where he left from in the subject box.

GET BACK TO ME NOW (-- MONEY SCAM!)

2007-12-14T10:30:00.000-06:00

"warras roech" warrasoo14@live.co.za

From: MR . WARRAS ROECH Absa Bank of South AfricaMobile phone: +27 73 78 55 489

Dear friend.

Good day, I am MR .WARRAS ROECH , a staff of Amalgamated Bank of South Africa {ABSA}. I have urgent and very confidential business proposal for you. An American Gold consultant/contractor with the South African Solid Gold Corporation, Mr. William Bryant made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$14,000,000.00 (Fourteen Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the South African Solid Gold Corporation that William Bryant died in a plane crash in Alaska Airlines Flight 261(for more information about this crash and people who died you can contact this website: ttp://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list /.On further investigation,

I found out that he died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation and discovered that Mr. William Bryant did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including his Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$14,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it. According to Laws of Republic OF SOUTH AFRICA, at the expiration of 7 (Seven) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the South African Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand in as the next of kin to Mr. William Bryant so that the fruits of this old man's labor will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials.

This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the attorney will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits that will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the services of an attorney for drafting and notarization of the WILL and to obtain the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favour for the transfer.

A bank account in any part of the world that you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 70% for me and 30% for you. There is no risk at all as the attorney and my position will do all the paperwork for this transaction as a prominent official of ABSA guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. If you are interested, please reply immediately via the private email address above. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand the transaction.

Please send me your confidential telephone numbers for easy communication. Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply via my confidential email address listed above, Thanking you in anticipation of your valued cooperation,

From: MR . WARRAS ROECH Absa Bank of South AfricaMobile phone: +27 73 78 55 489
Yours truly
MR .WARRAS ROECH

Blogger Note: Letters as these are SCAMS! Never give out your personal information to a stranger!! Report these types of emails to your email host as SPAM!

Arlington at Christmas

2007-12-14T07:43:00.000-06:00

Rest easy, sleep well my brothers.Know the lin e has held, your job is done.Rest easy, sleep well.Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held.Peace, peace, and farewell...

Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine. The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state.

Please share this with everyone on your address list. You hear too much about the bad things people do. Everyone should hear about this.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

2007-12-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food.Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean,correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives,ands end cards out on time.Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday,height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name.Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as youthink will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don't send it back to me.. . . I'm going to bed!

Moon and Sun at North Pole

2007-12-14T07:38:00.000-06:00

A scene you will probably never get to see.
This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point.
You also see the sun below the moon. An amazing photo and not one easily duplicated. You may want to pass it on to others. The Chinese have a saying: "When someone shares with you something of value, youhave an obligation to share it with others."

Christmas Quiz

2007-12-14T07:16:00.001-06:00

Click on the link below

http://www.quizland.com/f2quiz.mv?f18+NOMUSIC

CHRISTMAS EMAIL VIRUS - PLEASE READ - SNOPES ALERT

2007-12-14T07:10:00.000-06:00

ALERT!!

Validate: http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/zafi.asp

You should be alert during the next days:Do not open any message with an attached file called 'Merry Christmas' regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens as an Open Log Fire and will burn the whole hard disc in your computer.

This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it.If you receive a mail called 'Merry Christmas', though sent by a friend, do not open it and shut down your computer immediately. This is the worst virus announced, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever.

This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.

Should children witness child birth?

2007-12-14T07:09:00.000-06:00

This is one of the funniest!

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place........ smack his ass again.

A Story of Baby Jesus

2007-12-14T07:05:00.000-06:00

It was the day AFTER Christmas at a church in San Francisco . The pastor of the church was looking at the manger scene, when he noticed that the baby Jesus figure was missing from the cradle.

He immediately turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon walking down the street. And in the wagon, was the figure of the infant Jesus.

So he walked up to the boy and said, 'Son, where did you get that little baby Jesus that's in your wagon?' The little boy replied, 'I got him from the church.' 'And why did you take him?'asked the pastor. The little boy replied, 'Well, about a week before Christmas, I prayed to the little Lord Jesus.

I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas, I would give him a ride around the block in it.' Smile!

REPLY (-- MONEY SCAM!)

2007-12-14T07:02:00.000-06:00

FROM:MR.ANDREW TULLY
NO-2 LOUIS BOTHA WAY,JOHANNESBUR,SOUTH AFRICA.

Dear Sir,

USD11.5MILLION-BUSINESS PARTNERSHIPI will begin by introducing my self to you as the Chief Accounting Officer, Department of Energy and Mineral resources, Republic of South Africa I have the privilege of having your name, courtesy of one of the International Business Journals here, and I am writing to solicit your sincere co-operation in order to redeem an investment interest currently being held under TRUST with the DEPARTMENT of ENERGY and MINERAL RESOURCES.

The said investment, which is, now valued at USD11.5M was originally purchased by MR.GARVIN MALUSI and leased in 1998 to LABROUTH INVESTMENTS LIMITED. At maturity of the contractor died in May 2000, several attempts have been made without success, to contact Mr. GARVIN MALUSI or any of his relatives in whose favour the cash value for the redeemed investment could be made.

As the Head of accounts in the Department, I have, with my Director General (DG) carefully initiated the process of filing a claim for the money with the hope of having the Fund Transferred abroad for investment on our behalf and, we are hopeful you will agree with our intention to arrange payment of the claim in your name. We require that you let us prepare and file the claim for the money from this Department indicating your name as the appointed beneficiary of the FUND. Upon approval of the payment of this claim, you will Beeped, ELEVEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$11.5 Million),and since the money will be paid directly into an bank account to be nominated by you, you will have the responsibility to ensure that we receive our share of the money which I and my colleague have decided will be 70% while you will keep 25% as your personal commission, and 5% will be set aside for expenses that might arise during the cause of transfer.

I have to assure you however, that we are to make the payment of the Fund possible, provided you are ready to give us a very strong GUARANTEE that our share of the fund will be secured in your Hands and that you would not betray our trust in making the transfer of the Fund into your Bank account.This is a very safe and risk-free involvement as it is not prone to any Enquirer since we are all active partners and will not want to loose our positions in Government and the Department.

Meanwhile I demand that you keep this transaction very Private and confidential in view of our personal involvement. Full details of the processes for the claim will be provided as soon as we receive your response and acceptance to be part of this agreement. I expect the immediate indication of your interest by emailing my private address above . Kindly adopt and treat accordingly.NB. Remember to include your private phone and fax number and a copy of your identification to show your trust and willingness in this transaction.

Best regards,
MR.ANDREW TULLY
+277-826-023-88

Blogger Note: Letters as these are SCAMS! Never give out your personal information to a stranger!! Report these types of emails to your email host as SPAM!

LED illumination

2007-12-13T14:30:00.000-06:00

If you are searching for a gift for that hard-to-buy-for person on your Christmas list, you may want to consider the new LED (light emitting diode) flashlights. The batteries last almost forever.

I'm told that the light is super bright due to the technology of LED illumination. You can check out the picture below to see just how bright these lights are.

Merry Christmas!

Dogs Welcome

2007-12-13T13:45:00.000-06:00

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote: "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

Mammograms

2007-12-13T13:20:00.000-06:00

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

EXERCISE ONE:Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!AND, just a thought for all the women out there........MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,MENopause............Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........AndWhen we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!

Thought for the day

2007-12-13T12:52:00.001-06:00

Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it. Piss on it and walk away.

Be nice to others

2007-12-13T12:49:00.000-06:00

Be nice to others ... because .. Time will make a difference!
One day You may not be the BIG dog anymore!!

Special friends last forever

2007-12-13T11:25:00.000-06:00

If I don't get this back, I will know you really didn't read it. I got this from someone and thought the last part was really a good thought.

Do You Love Him?

This is a simple test:

IF YOU LOVE JESUS, SEND THIS TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU!

The Poem I knelt to pray but not for long, I had too much to do. I had to hurry and get to work For bills would soon be due. So I knelt and said a hurried prayer, And jumped up off my knees. My Christian duty was now done My soul could rest at ease..... All day long I had no time To spread a word of cheer No time to speak of Christ to friends, They'd laugh at me I'd fear. No time, no time, too much to do, That was my constant cry, No time to give to souls in need But at last the time, the time to die I went before the Lord, I came, I stood with downcast eyes. For in his hands God! held a book; It was the book of life. God looked into his book and said 'Your name I cannot find I once was going to write it down... But never found the time'

Now do you have the time to pass it on?

If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything,
If you look at what you have in life, you have everything.

READ THE FIRST LINE CAREFULLY. . If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thank God.

IF A FAT GUY GRABS YOU AND PUTS YOU IN A BAG

2007-12-13T09:16:00.000-06:00

IF A FAT GUY GRABS YOU AND PUTS YOU IN A BAG, DON'T WORRY, I TOLD SANTA I WANTED A GOOD FRIEND FOR CHRISTMAS!
SEND THIS TO 10, INCLUDING ME IF I'M YOUR FRIEND.

Kitchen Aid

2007-12-13T08:04:00.000-06:00

She is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walks in.

She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove. More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?" She explains, "The egg timer's broken."